For some years it has been my contention that electronics are now so fast, so sophisticated and so reliable that their only limitation is our ability to think up new uses for them. Now I’m coming around to the idea that we’re thinking entirely too much.
Take the Q50, a new car from Infiniti (just as Lexus makes expensive Toyotas, Infiniti is Nissan’s premium brand). It has facial recognition, so when you climb in and settle behind the wheel the first thing you’re greeted with is, well, a greeting. Just for you.
“Hello (insert your name here)” it displays on one of its two LCD screens.
Brrrr. It’s a bit like Hal the rogue computer in
2001: A Space Odyssey saying “Hello, Dave” so
smoothly immediately before consigning good old
Dave to open space.
Having got the niceties out of the way, the Q50 will then ensure the seat and mirrors are in your preferred positions, the climate control is set to where you like it, the satellite navigation is prepped to show you the way home, and lots more.
It will dial in your preferred steering weight, decide whether you want the car in sport mode or comfort and how far away you’d like to be from the car in front when you activate the cruise control. There are lots more things available … if you can be bothered to enter all the parameters. If you can be, it will know if you prefer an ABC or QWERTY keyboard.
It offers 96 selectable settings across 10 functions, and the possible permutations for your personal settings run into the billions. You are far more likely to find a suitable match here than in a lifetime’s trawling of computer dating services.
Then it all gets a bit cheesy. The Infiniti displays your favourite photographs of family and friends. Heaven help us. I have lots of favourite photographs but none
of them of family and friends, so do I qualify? I guess I’m just not touchy-feely enough for an Infiniti.
The scary bit is the Q50 will do all this for four different people. That means that if your 18-year-old
kid has borrowed the car, you won’t be assailed by thrash metal at 110 decibels next time you crank up the radio. Infiniti calls this
“My Car Knows Me” but really, I wonder.
There are days when I like to be addressed by my first name and days when I feel I deserve to be called sir.
There are some days when a simple “hey” suffices.
I know a guy who
once did PR for BMW, and he would be mortified by a personal greeting from a car. He would immediately demand to know when and
where he and that car had been formally introduced.
Still, I guess the Infiniti approach is better than a few Mitsubishis I’ve been in lately, all of which displayed an overly joyful “See you!” at journey’s end.
Oh for an off-switch. A 45-calibre off-switch.
reasdown@theweeklyreview.com.au
