Afraa Kori
Yarraville writer Paul Mitchell has joined forces with his 15-year-old son, Ryland, in a play that seeks paths forward on family violence.
Titled, You’re The Man, the play will premiere at La Mama Theatre Carlton Courthouse from September 4 to 15.
It’s a challenging and provocative work that gets to the heart of justifications men make for their behaviour, paths of healing for victim-survivors, and a renewed vision for Australian masculinity.
It deals with the tragedy of family violence, referencing crimes such as Arthur Freeman’s ‘Westgate’ murder of his daughter in 2009.
The play is intended to show people there are many points of intervention where they can make a positive change.
“It’s not all down to the government to make those changes. It’s up to us – becoming the kind of people who can see when cracks are appearing in our own and others’ lives and offer or help find the necessary support,” Paul said.
One crucial lesson that men can gain from the play is what defines family violence.
“It’s not just hitting people, which I think remains strongly in the male Australian psyche as being the main definition. Another thing is that I feel, and have seen, that men can have a sense that their partners or children ‘belong’ to them. But everyone belongs to themselves. It’s a short path from thinking someone belongs to you to controlling them – or abusing them when they decide to embrace the autonomy they already have,” Paul said.
Ryland’s character Liam becomes a beacon of hope for renewed masculinity in Australia.
“The Liam character’s voice and experience emerged organically, and had a story to tell about finding strength to live through grief and not be defined by his suffering,” Paul said.
Ryland hopes his character will show young men that they don’t have to be physically tough to deal with life.
“But Liam is a very strong character mentally. He was in a very dark place but he gets over it. Counselling plays a huge role, and music. He doesn’t choose anger as a response to his pain. He chooses self-acceptance and facing the truth,” Ryland said.
As production has unfolded, many cast and crew members have spoken of their personal experiences of family violence, which has bonded them together with purpose for the show.
“It’s challenging material and we’re all bringing something personal to our efforts, which is giving the whole production a strong sense of meaning,” Paul said.
Despite being their first collaboration, it has fostered a deeper understanding and stronger bond between the father-son duo.
“It’s been an absolute joy. Ryland is 15, but is emotionally very mature. He’s a terrific actor, lots of fun to be around. I find it incredibly satisfying and strangely ironic to know that we are building our father-son relationship positively in a play that shows how that relationship can go wrong. But I think the content of the play has really kept us aware of what it means to be loving towards each other,” Paul said.
