Almost two years ago, a Williamstown couple faced one of the biggest crises of their lives when their son had a severe psychotic episode as a result of drug use.
Jane (not her real name) said her son, then 21, had been using a range of drugs. “Probably magic mushrooms, MDMA, a lot of cannabis, and it had been going on for a long time,” she said.
“[My husband and I] both took carer’s leave … and ended up involved with him in youth mental health services.
“It’s really about recognising that I’m not in a position to fix this situation, so what can I do that looks after me.”
“But we were struggling all the time because he continued to use substances in that time.
“Mostly for him, it was cannabis.”
Jane and her husband decided to attend a series of free information sessions being held for the first time at Footscray. They offered coping strategies for families affected by a loved one’s drug use.
Run by Family Drug Support, the Stepping Forward sessions were a breakthrough for the couple.
“My husband and I are both professionals and consider ourselves pretty well informed, but we learnt a heck of a lot,” Jane said.
“It was a lot of understanding about communication with the person who has a dependence, a lot of the language … you don’t talk about addiction, you talk about dependence. You actually need to think about yourself in this.
“It’s quite difficult to change that person and often the whole environment is charged with a lot of emotional anxiety, anger, grief, fear, you name it.
“You want to know why … why is it our family, why is it my son, he’s a beautiful boy? Emotionally, you’re an absolute wreck.”
Gaining perspective
Jane said Stepping Forward had helped her and her husband gain perspective, learn different approaches and understand what was happening with their son.
“It’s very hard, but we stopped trying to be hyper-vigilant about every single little aspect of his life,” she said.
“We had to let go of certain things, which intuitively you don’t want to do.
“But in a sense it’s about saying this is his journey and in a way you have to be respectful of that whether you like it or not, and you also have to look after yourself.
“It’s really about recognising that I’m not in a position to fix this situation, so what can I do that looks after me.
“I think it helped us to put some boundaries in place for us around our son, and some expectations.
“Right now, he’s actually not using. He’s in a really good place and he’s returned to tertiary studies.”
Three Stepping Forward sessions will be held next month at Western Health Drug Services, 3-7 Eleanor Street, Footscray. For registration and inquiries, visit fds.org.au or call 0448 169 205.
