Many people find it difficult to discuss traumatic episodes from their past.
Western suburbs woman Kabinga C Mazaba isn’t one of them.
“From the age of six I was sexually abused by my uncle from my dad’s side,” said the Zambian born public speaker and life coach.
“It was only a one time event but because of the background and cultural taboos it was never spoken about, it was just erased like it never happened,” Ms Mazaba recalled of the way the incident was treated in her homeland.
It was an approach that would soon be repeated.
“Then at the age of nine the same thing happened but this time it was my neighbour and they still never spoke about it.”
Not only did her family not want to speak about their daughter’s abuse, but soon some of them didn’t want to speak to her at all.
“At the age of 11 I lost my father in a plane crash in Zambia and what made it worse was that my father’s family abandoned me and didn’t want anything to do with me after that.”
While her mother remained by her side, she too wouldn’t address her daughter’s abuse.
“The culture that I grew up in was about never talking about your emotions,” said Ms Mazaba, who for years adopted the same approach until the lead up to her 40th birthday triggered a change.
“My mother died when she was 43 and my father died at 40 and I had this fear within me that I was also going to die in my 40’s,” said Ms Mazaba who by now was married with children and living in Australia.
“I had to find the strength within me to change for my family’s sake. For so many years I never wanted to talk about my abuse because of the shame it carried and that was holding me back from living my life.”
After initially telling her husband, Ms Mazaba found the more she spoke about her trauma, the stronger and more empowered she felt.
Now she’s aiming to inspire others to do the same with her first book, a memoir and self help guide titled: CONFRONT: Reclaiming Your Life.
“I decided to write a book because this was me saying that I’ve overcome trauma, I’ve found strength and my past has no power to hold me back anymore and also to provide hope and guidance for those trapped by their past,” she said.
CONFRONT: Reclaiming Your Life is published by Able Press and is available on Amazon.
